I am married to my best friend, who I am crazy in love with. I can't imagine life without him. I am a 20-something momma through adoption and birth - I'm in love with each one of my babies and I can't get enough of them. I am a big sister to seven brothers and sisters - who I absolutely adore. I'm passionate about adoption and intentional at recognizing the role God has me at as the second mom to my babies. I am the kind of person who will try almost anything. I love to travel and see new places. I have big dreams for my family - but I know that God's plans are bigger than my imagination can handle and I am excited to see where he will take us!

Saturday, April 14, 2012

Please Help!

There has always been a special place in my heart for children with down syndrome. Children in other countries with Down Syndrome are put in an orphanage and their life is over. There is no hope. There are no options. They are not valued.

But I believe that children with Down Syndrome are created in the image of God. He formed them in the womb of their mother. He shaped them - he picked out their hair and eye color. How they would smile. That beautiful laugh. He looked at the child he created and knew that it was good.

Not every family may feel equipped to adopt a child from another country with Down Syndrome. But we CAN make a difference by helping those who DO feel equipped.

I firmly believe that "pro life" is more than just abortion related. It means we value all life. These children are in a place where they are not valued. Where those "caring" for them are just waiting for them to die. You know at 5 years old, they move to an adult institution?

I know the idea of helping can be overwhelming - but coming along side a family ready to do take this step, is not. Your $25 can make a difference and change a life.


to donate and see the gifts you could win in the drawing.


Thursday, May 19, 2011

Its been hard...

...like really hard. The good thing is that i can find people who have visited the orphanage - and since the boys LOVE getting pictures taken I can see new pictures of them. The hard thing about that same thing - is knowing their life is the same and they are still in that place. They are STILL THERE. STILL ALONE. I am here... living my life. My nice, easy, comfy life.

I pulled up their pictures on the screen and saw my oldest boy.

I started to sob.

I don't cry much. My reaction surprised even me.

His hair had grown and I couldn't get over how much he had changed in just two months. That smile though - that smile... still as gorgeous as it always was. When i saw his picture and that precious grin - i just wanted to hug him. In one of the pictures he was wearing the shirt I gave him... not one of the bunch I had brought for the boys... but the special one that was mine, that i wanted him to have to remember me.

His smile oozes joy.

His eyes dance when he smiles.

I see it even in pictures.

You know when you look at your kid and think what a hand full they are but you think how they are worth every second of that motherly worry? Thats him. Looking at my boys and knowing that heart ache is ahead but that they are worth EVERY. SINGLE. SECOND.

They don't know they are worth that to me yet.
I hope they find out before their time is up.

Each night their sisters and I pray for them. Pray that Jesus will bring their brothers home. We pray that until he does that he would appoint his angels to stand guard over them and keep evil from them.

Could you handle thinking of your baby surviving alone... knowing anyone had access to them? Without you to filter the filth and evil that will prey on your baby? I get on my knees and pray that Jesus will protect them.

And I wait...

Monday, May 2, 2011

heart aching

You know that physical feeling you get when you miss someone you love? That ache in your chest? I have that... and it hurts.

I feel like the last few days I have just been hanging and clinging to every memory I have of the boys I left behind.

Their pictures are everywhere. They are in frames on the living room wall... all over our fridge.... I carry them in my purse...

my heart hurts for them. I miss them. They need me... they need a mom... any mom. I am not selfish... I am not the kind to feel "its me or no mom"... if anyone else would step up and be a mom to these boys I would be thrilled.

Why do people kind of chuckle when I tell them about some "amazing boys in ethiopia who need a mom and dad"... they think its cute or funny or crazy that I suggest they adopt them.

I don't think its any of these things.... in fact it kind of pisses me off that they think that.

What reason or excuse will we give Jesus for not taking in a child who has no one? Which excuse will he be "okay" with?

What excuse will I give him? What excuse will my husband give? Is it really enough for me to say "well, my husband wasn't ready yet"? I don't know. I truly don't know.

But I DO think we will have to give account for why we haven't acted....

I keep hearing that not everyone is called to adopt. But I wonder if we just say that so people can claim that it isn't their calling. Do we say it so its our cover for not offending those who aren't acting?

How can you NOT be called to bring in a child who has no one?

Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Ethiopia Trip 2011

I traveled with five other ladies to Ethiopia at the end of last Feb and came home 10 days later. It was more of a vision trip instead of mission trip. There were several reasons I wanted to go... to deliver donations to a couple ministries... to visit our sponsored children... to go see some ministries we support in action... and to love on some kids who have no one to love on them.

I had it in my head that I would go and while there I would find the child we would adopt. I was thinking a toddler... maybe at the oldest five, but preferably a child older than my son but younger than my oldest daughter (who is four). I was trying to decide who would be a good fit for our family... a boy or girl? I decided a girl because my amazing husband has a weakness for little princesses who are a "daddy's girl". He is so close with our daughters and they want to do EVERYTHING with their daddy. How could he say no to a little princess in need of a daddy to take care of her? So how do you like my plans? Sound good right? I also had the orphanage picked out - AHOPE. Its a private Christian orphanage for kids who are HIV positive. So there ya go - I let God know where he could find my princess, how old she needed to be... I am thoughtful aren't i?

I had plans before too...

like how we would start our family by adopting a child in the foster care system, a boy or two, elementary school aged, african american or biracial. Surprise, God decided to send us a beautiful hispanic princess whose birth we got to be a part of. We thought we would wait several years before having a biological child, after adopting a few. Surprise... when our hispanic princess was 9 months old, I found out I was pregnant. We thought we would adopt from Ethiopia next (in Jan 2010) but God slammed that door shut (much to my frustration) and four months later our son's parents asked us to be his mom and dad.

You would think I have learned.
You would think I would know that nothing happens how I think or plan.
You would think that I would see that God's plans are more than I could dream up.

I went to Ethiopia and I fell in love. I found the children I want to adopt.
But they aren't little girls... and they aren't even "little" boys.

I fell in love with some young teen boys who yearn for a mom to love them.
For a family to call their own.
For a family name to be theirs.

I fell in love with boys who wouldn't let me hold my bag for second, but instead was always by my side to hold it and anything else that was heavy... even if it took four of them taking turns because my bag was so heavy.

I fell in love with boys who gave away the brand new shoes that I bought them, to a boy who had no shoes. I fell in love with boys who were always thanking me and telling me how much they appreciated every.little.thing. I did for them.

I fell in love with boys who have no mom to scratch their back as they fall asleep at night. I fell in love with boys who don't have a mom to comfort them when they get their feelings hurt. Who don't have a dad to tell them how proud he is of them. Boys who don't have a mom to give them chicken soup when they have the flu. Boys who don't have a mom or dad to say "I love you" to them each night when they go to bed, each morning when they wake up... or for no reason at all.

They don't know what thats like. And they crave it.

These boys are incredible.

I fell in love with the boys whose eyes were filled with tears as they told me goodbye.

As they told me they loved me.

As they told me how much they would miss me.

These boys who have only each other.

But they are MY boys. In my heart, they are mine.

I have cried countless tears for these boys and what their futures hold.

I am praying that God brings them here. To my home. To be my sons.

I know he can do it.

I just hope he does.

But I need to remember that His plans always wow me...
can't wait to see what he has in store.

So much...

So much has happened since my last post in November 2010. In Feb/March I took a ten day trip to Ethiopia and it was incredible! It was one of the most amazing things I have experienced. I was able to see ministries in action and I fell in love with some amazing boys at an orphanage.

I hope to update you all some time, but for right now I am looking for people traveling back there so I can send a couple small care packages to those amazing boys. Their orphanage is located in Addis, but if it can't be delievered I can have a friend in Addis pick up the packages from them :)

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

A care package for Ethiopia!

I was put in touch with a friend who would soon be traveling to Ethiopia to visit the daughter they were adopting - she was willing to take a "care package" from us to one of our sponsored boys! I was SO excited about it! She delievered it last week. Now we weren't sure if she would actually get to MEET him. Our boy is at Yezelalem Minch, and my friend and her husband would be staying at the the home of the woman who started Yezelalem Minch. So we knew that even if she couldn't MEET him - that she would be able to leave his gifts and he would eventually get them.

Much to my surprise she DID get to meet our little guy!!!!!
This is what she shared with me about it:

"The entire trip was just absolutely amazing! Our hearts are overflowing right now! Thank you for letting us bring a gift to your little guy. We were so blessed by that experience. Eyasu and Bilen (our sponsored girl) were so overwhelmed when we met them and started handing them all this stuff. It broke my heart because it was not a big deal for me to bring all that stuff, and they were just in shock at the sight of it. Just another reminder of how much we take for granted.

Our meeting with them was very brief. We had a jam-packed day that day, and were running behind schedule. They had been waiting for us for 2 hours. They were both brought in to the Yezelalem Minch office to meet us. Bilen is from Addis, but Eyasu lives outside of Addis. I think they said it was about an hour drive back to his house. His social worker was the one who brought him into Addis that day. Neither of the kids said much. You could tell that they were very overwhelmed, but they were so happy and thankful. We told them that we pray for them everyday, and encouraged them to study hard.

I have to say, it was one of the most amazing experiences of my life. I feel like I was far more blessed by the experience than the kids were.Our court trip was short and had a lot of things packed into a few short days. We're hoping to be there longer during our embassy trip, and even visit the sponsored kids at their homes. We'd be happy to bring your little guy another package if you want us to. Just let me know. :)"

I am so excited for their next trip when they bring their daughter home and get to see first hand how our little man lives. Its so powerful to me what a few dollars a month can do to change the life of a child - and what it means to them!


Just got the notice in the mail today that we will finalize our little man's adoption in two weeks! I am not looking at this day like "he will finally be OURS" - because he already is, I don't need a court to tell me that. Its significant of course because legally he becomes our son - but on his original birth certificate his first parents chose to put our last name as his. They put our name for him on it - I thought that was pretty special. I am SO EXCITED that his adoption will be final before the year's end - this means that we can claim all of our adoption expenses on our taxes in April! G's adoption ended up being about four thousand dollars more than we had originally anticipated, which may not seem like much, but when you aren't planning on it, and you don't have the money... well.. I am thankful this year the tax credit is refundable. With the refund we should be able to pay off the adoption loan (which is both K & G's loan combined). I'd like to say that this is good so we can get another loan and do it again!! Realistically, that isn't happening any time soon. My husband says no more babies. ever. He would like to adopt from the system next, but that also won't happen for a couple years so who knows where we will be at that point :) I like to guess and think about what life will be like - but things never turn out the way I anticipate. Luckily :)