I am married to my best friend, who I am crazy in love with. I can't imagine life without him. I am a 20-something momma through adoption and birth - I'm in love with each one of my babies and I can't get enough of them. I am a big sister to seven brothers and sisters - who I absolutely adore. I'm passionate about adoption and intentional at recognizing the role God has me at as the second mom to my babies. I am the kind of person who will try almost anything. I love to travel and see new places. I have big dreams for my family - but I know that God's plans are bigger than my imagination can handle and I am excited to see where he will take us!

Monday, May 2, 2011

heart aching

You know that physical feeling you get when you miss someone you love? That ache in your chest? I have that... and it hurts.

I feel like the last few days I have just been hanging and clinging to every memory I have of the boys I left behind.

Their pictures are everywhere. They are in frames on the living room wall... all over our fridge.... I carry them in my purse...

my heart hurts for them. I miss them. They need me... they need a mom... any mom. I am not selfish... I am not the kind to feel "its me or no mom"... if anyone else would step up and be a mom to these boys I would be thrilled.

Why do people kind of chuckle when I tell them about some "amazing boys in ethiopia who need a mom and dad"... they think its cute or funny or crazy that I suggest they adopt them.

I don't think its any of these things.... in fact it kind of pisses me off that they think that.

What reason or excuse will we give Jesus for not taking in a child who has no one? Which excuse will he be "okay" with?

What excuse will I give him? What excuse will my husband give? Is it really enough for me to say "well, my husband wasn't ready yet"? I don't know. I truly don't know.

But I DO think we will have to give account for why we haven't acted....

I keep hearing that not everyone is called to adopt. But I wonder if we just say that so people can claim that it isn't their calling. Do we say it so its our cover for not offending those who aren't acting?

How can you NOT be called to bring in a child who has no one?

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